A Trip to the Bank... short humour fiction

"I'll be Bozo," said Bob, leaning forward over the back seat to look in the rear vision mirror and touch up his wide red lips.

He dodged back as Artie's elbow jabbed at him from the steering wheel, "Get back! And take that floppy costume out of my way, Dummy! I'm not going to change MY name, even if we are supposed to be stupid clowns."

Bob was unimpressed. "Whaddya think, Danny-boy?" He asked their third member in the passenger seat. "And you guys better not be stupid. I hope ya both got your shooters where you can grab 'em quick without dropping ‘em. These stupid pockets are huge!

The car entered the main street, crowded with people and shops, all preoccupied with the business of coping with business. King’s Bank was on the right, an old heritage bank that couldn't be mistaken, with its big Grecian columns at the front, and wide brick stairs, no less than twenty.

"Come on Danny!" Bob urged, "think of a clown's name, quick."

"Aw, I dunno," Danny started.

"Dando!" Bob suddenly exclaimed, "That's what it'll be, Dando! Dando the clown… Yeah!"

Danny didn't answer, for his attention was caught by a white coated form running along the left footpath waving madly at them and grinning widely. He was pointing and laughing, involving a partner, also in a white coat, further up near the hospital entrance. St Benedict's Specialist Hospital for Children was an incongruity in the street. Another antique building adorned with vulgar pillars and multiple arches, it had been built long before many of the modern shops appeared.

The enthusiastic white-coated partner near the hospital gates was pointing too, laughing and acting like a monkey scratching itself.

"What the......." Bob exclaimed, "what's goin' on with that mad character?!

Artie summed it up, "Blast and damnation! We've been seen! He wants us to drive IN there! What are we gonna do NOW?!"

"We can't go into the bank now." Danny stated the obvious. "I can't believe this; you'll have to drive into the hospital grounds, Artie".

Their new found friends swept them into the hospital drive with exaggerated sweeping of their arms.

When the car came to a halt, no less than five figures in white coats stood around the three clowns. The grinner spoke up, "Boy! You’re early,  guys! Okay........... we can manage. What's YOUR name?" he asked Danny, opening the car door obligingly.

Thrusting a hand forward to shake Danny's, "I'm Craig. I booked you in!" he added proudly.

"Oh, did you?" Danny mumbled, "Great… I'm Dando." Then he added unnecessarily, "I'm a clown."

Five voices erupted in laughter, "No kidding!?"

Three mesmerised clowns found themselves escorted to the terminal ward. This was a small unobtrusive private hospital.

Bob was preparing to take charge again and opened his mouth to speak, when a nurse rushed up to Artie, "Ooh, you must be Topsy! I can tell you're a girl! I've wanted to meet your group for ages!" Then she looked at the other two, "Oh no, I forgot your names! I’m going to be introducing you to all the kids."

Behind Danny, Bob poked him in the back. "Oh sorry, I'm Dando, Dando the Clown" he stuttered, "And this bloke behind me is Bozo, Bozo the clown".

The nurse laughed as if he‘d told a funny joke, "I can see your clowns!" She could hardly stop giggling.

'Bozo' found himself at her elbow, "This is a very funny friend of yours," she told a little boy in a cot who had no hair. "He’s going to tell you some jokes. Say hello to Bozo, Marty"

Bozo stared down at little Marty, who looked back with big round eyes expectantly, from a pale thin face. "Are you a real clown?" Marty asked quietly, "Are you a real clown that tells stories?"

 Unprepared for the task ahead, 'Bozo' sat down and took Marty's hand. Then he started in a quiet voice, "Yeah, Marty. Aah, I’m going to tell you a real funny story... About three clowns who set off one day to rob a bank..."