Another Update

I have been away from Friday to Monday to a town four hours north to visit my mother in hospital.

 It is a sad irony that during the 60s and early 70s I learnt to take care of sick people in hospital. I, or my fellow nurses, didn’t judge them by age, or by any other criteria other than that they were ill and required care.

 We learned how to wash and feed the frail elderly, sick adults and little children. Strangely it seems, at a glance we could tell if they were uncomfortable--(when their heads were not supported by a pillow, for instance--when their sheets were wet and needed changing, and when their pain had reached a level that needed treatment.

  The irony is that now I am elderly, and my mother is even more elderly, (99 to be exact,) and nursing standards are abysmal.

 It breaks my heart to see her so wasted and in pain, surrounded by able-bodied people who seem helpless to give her comfort. I watched a nurse get her out of the shower. I watched her totter to her bed, and sit on the edge in an ill fitting gown, (because she was being made ready for a procedure and she has lost so much weight.) Unable to shuffle into position, she was left at a precarious angle on the bed with the sheet only pulled up on one side.

 Thank God we were there. I am now in a wheelchair and unable to offer any assistance. I couldn’t even take her in my arms and hug her. My husband lifted her into a comfortable position and adjusted the pillows, only to discover one side of the sheet was wet from the IV drip.

 When I visit my families I am compelled to choose a motel with disabled unit because of my condition and none of my relatives has adequate facilities, although they agonise about it and insist they can help. It’s hard to explain to people about total dependency and what is required. The motel becomes expensive, so a long stay is out of the question. Also, while  we’re away we don’t have the equipment such as the hoist I need.

 We all got a very strong feeling from the nurses that, Oh, she’s an old lady and going to die anyway, so why bother.

 I am broken-hearted and cannot write more.